Allie is moving

We have had the worst week. I seriously think it ranks right up in one of the top five (maybe even three) worst weeks of my life.

On Saturday, January 23rd, Alex gets this email at work from Allie's mom. If you saw this email you would understand why when I think of this woman I feel utter hate. It was pretty much a "by the way" email, completely inappropriate for the news that it carried. The email said to the effect:

We are moving to California on Wednesday, January 27th. This is our new address. According to the visitation guidelines, you have the right to fly Allie out to see you once a month at your expense. Let me know if you will be exercising this right.

That's it. No, "Sorry for the short notice", no "what can I do to make it so you can spend time with your daughter before she leaves". I honestly think that initially, because she chose Wednesday which is Alex's normal mid-week visitation with Allie, that she was planning on leaving Wednesday morning and had no intention of even letting Alex see Allie before she left. This supposition is based on the fact that when Alex asked if he could have Allie from Wednesday morning and fly her to California on Sunday evening, Allie's mom said that they would instead leave on Thursday morning and that Alex could have her on Wednesday from 2:55 - 8:30 (his normal visitation time). Needless to say, her mom decided that we could have Allie from Thursday morning until Sunday, but this decision had nothing to do with Allie's mom's decency but more with the fact that Alex informed her that he would make her put Allie on a plane back here on Friday morning since he was still entitled to his one weekend a month. On top of that, her mom is refusing to drive to the LAX airport (an hour away), which would make the flights $100 - $150 less, and she is refusing to combine the days off school for President's Day weekend, insisting that a weekend starts on Friday and ends on Sunday. Unbelievable! She is ripping his daughter out of his life with pretty much no notice, he is maybe going to see Allie for two days a month and she is arguing over an additional two days!

We had her mom served with court papers on her way out of town on Thursday. The constable waited until Alex had Allie in his car (so her mom couldn't refuse to let Allie go with him) and then walked up to her and handed her the papers. I hate going to court. It costs a ton of money and nothing ever seems to happen because the judges will pretty much let the mother's do whatever they want. I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about all the money we spent fighting the homeschooling thing and the judge was too big of a wuss to do anything about it. Now, three years later (by the way, Allie is sixth grade age and she is below Katya when it comes to math - and Katya is probably on about a fourth grade math level), we are back in court. I have to just keep telling myself that it will be better in the long run and that perhaps the court will award him more visitation, make her pay for some of it, and force her to drive to the LAX airport. So, it has been a nightmare week. I think my stress level this week, on a scale of 1 to 10, was about a 20!

We're trying to have Allie see all our family before we go, since we don't really know when she will be back. Last night, we babysat my brother's kids and they all played Lego Rock Band together for a while. Tonight, my sister is coming with her family to make cookies and have dinner and tomorrow we will try to make the rounds to visit Alex's family. I am very proud of Alex and the way he is handling this. He was devastated when he found out yet he is still putting on a happy face to Allie. Allie is excited to be moving (what kid wouldn't be? They are moving 20 minutes from the beach and Disneyland) and Alex is trying to be positive and tolerate Allie's excitement and lack of caring about the fact that she is hardly going to see her dad anymore. I think his belief is - as well as mine - that it will probably take about a month for the excitement to wear off and the reality of never getting to see her dad to kick in. How could it not? Allie was complaining here about wanting to spend more time with her dad (to which her mom always refused, of course!) and now she might see him once a month? I'm actually pretty surprised that her mom didn't think of this earlier. She is now getting what she has fought for the last eight years - Allie is now going to spend less time with her dad.

Tony turns One!

My baby is one! I can't believe that it was only a little more than a year ago that I was at the gym walking on the treadmill for two hours trying to convince little Tony that he wanted to make an appearance in this world and now my baby is one year old!

We hosted a celebratory bash on Saturday, January 16th (although his real birthday was on Wednesday, January 13th). I made my usual "more work than is really needed" showing, where the "appetizers" turned into an actual meal (if I had planned an real meal, it would have most definately been less work) and decided that the really cute puppy cupcakes that I found on-line were a "must-have". The problem is that I needed about two more hours to get all the stuff done. If it hadn't been for my mom, sisters, and sisters-in-law pitching in, the party would have never come to pass. Thanks ladies - you are lifesavers!

Since Tony has been walking all over for the past month and a half, I decided to get a pinata. We always had pinatas at our parties growing up. We would actually make them by hand (luckily I didn't get the idea in my head to hand-make it!). Unfortunately, I didn't have the camera in position while Tony still had an interest in swinging around a stick so the pictures didn't turn out too great. But the other kids have fun beating it up and eventually got all the goodies out of it.

Tony lost interest in his presents after he opened the toys and then kept getting boring clothes. Of course, the wrapping paper is always more entertaining than the gifts himself and he did get another jack-in-the-box. Wahoo! He loves the jack-in-the-box, especially since he's figured out that if you push the little latch with your finger, the lion will pop out without having to go through the whole song!

Eating is something that my son is very good at. He dug right into that cake, starting with the jelly bean and marshmallow on top (I know - that is probably a "no-no" for kids, but he's still alive!) and working his way through the icing to the actual cake part. In fact, he was so preoccupied with the cake that he actually left the cute hat on. Yeah! It make for completely adorable pictures.

I have to say, that we actually never gave him his gift. I didn't get a chance to wrap it up and he has had so many new toys that I figured I would wait a couple of weeks to give it to him. Or maybe till next Christmas? ;)

Back to Ukraine

Katya posted this note on her door last night. For those of you who need a translation, I believe it says either:

I want to go back to the Ukraine now. I am not liked here.

or

I want to go back to the Ukraine now. I don't like it here.

I actually find this note very humorous. I know I shouldn't and Katya was mad when she saw that I took a picture but what can I say - it's funny! I think in a couple of years she will find it hilarious too :)

The note was in response to my getting mad when she was uncooperative with her homework last night. I will admit that I over-reacted because my patience was about half of what it normally is due to my being upset about something else so I really shouldn't have thrown the book on the floor and told her to go to her room when she refused to read. It was definately not one of my shining moments as a parent - one of many moments that I wish I could have a "do-over". I did go and apologize for getting upset later, followed by a lecture about how nobody can force Katya to learn and that she knows how far behind her peers she is and she has to be the one to decide that she wants to try and catch up. Blah, blah, blah!

I'm beginning to think that I am going about this parenting thing all wrong. I was trying to remember today why it was that I decided that being a parent was something that I needed to do in this world - why I thought it would "complete" my existence. Why would I want to give up the days when I could go and do as I pleased for making dinner and fighting kids about homework? I think I need to renew my pursuit for the meaning of happiness. When I was in high school, I remember thinking that if I could just get out of high school then I would be happy. Then, when I was in college, I kept thinking that if I could just finish college then I would be happy. And now...if I could just ____ then I would be happy. I honestly don't know what to fill in the blank with. It seems the problem I have had my whole life is that I am always living for the future and never living in the present. Somehow I need to stop thinking so much about mortgages, whether my daughter reads on grade level and hates math, about whether my son is getting enough protein and drinking enough milk. The problem is, if I don't think about it, who will? Doesn't somebody need to? Isn't that what you are supposed to do in life? Worry about the future?

I am throwing this question out to the universe...what is happiness?