Week of Sunday, November 20th

Katya update:
All this week I have been working out a life lesson for Katya that can be tied to her grades. I had a discussion with her about college last Sunday, over a treat of Jamba Juice after her haircut, about the importance of college. She claimed that her plan was to work for a year to get the money to pay for college. I laughed and told her that the kind of job that she could get after high school without a college degree would not earn her enough money to pay for college. I said that we would probably help her pay for some, depending on where she went, but that she would probably just need to get student loans like I did. She acted like she seemed to see the need for college, but you never know...and she still has horrible grades. I took her to school one morning this week, after a very frustrating night of helping her complete a review sheet for a math test the next day that she "forgot" about until I looked at her sheet that the teachers sign So, my life lesson plan is as follows:

A's and B's and chores done without asking: This is the equivalent of her going to college, getting a good paying job and actually working hard. For this she would have the following privileges:
No limits on TV and video games
Cell phone
Hang out with friends
Go out to dinner or a movie once a week with a friend

C's and chores done without asking: This is the equivalent of her going to college but either not getting a good job or not working hard. For this she would have the following privileges:
limits on TV and video games
Cell phone
Hang out with friends on the weekends only after homework is done

D's or F's and no chores done: This is the equivalent of her not going to college and basically working at McDonalds. For this she would have the following privileges:
Limits on TV
No cell phone
Hang out with friends once a week after homework is done

Out biggest problem with this plan is beimg able to control her TV and video game viewing while we aren' t home So, We bought this thing called TV Bob on eBay. You plug your TV into it and then the child has to put their pin in to turn the TV on. The pin has a time attached to it that you can program in and when the child has reached their time limit the TV won't turn on anymore. She isn't going to be happy about this but I'm so tired of her bad grades that I've got to try something else!

My positive thing for the week: When I think back on what homework time used to be like when Katya first got here, I cringe. It used to be that I would have to prep for a major battle but it is actually hardly ever like that anymore. I think part of it has to do with Katya's attitude change but the majority of the change has to do with my attitude adjustment. I've learned to be more patient, playful and not to take her rebuffs personally. Anyway, I remember one particular day last week, after a pretty frustrating homework session, Katya turns to me and says, "thank you, mom". I think the fact that she said this begrudgingly (as opposed to in a sweet, happy voice) makes it mean even more because I know that she didn't enjoy it (and lord knows I didn't particularly enjoy it either) but she still remembered to say it :)