Alex had a conversation with Katya today on their way to art class about how she is angry a lot. He couldn't remember why she had gotten angry in the first place, which means it was over some stupid little insignificant thing which is usually what "sets her off". So, he talked about how he doesn't like to be angry all the time and asked Katya if she likes it if we are angry all the time. I learned long ago not to ask her questions like that because she will always answer "yes" to questions that you want her to say "no" to (of course her response to his question was "yes"). Alex also talked about how even parents get mad when they shouldn't sometimes and she brought up the time that Alex was so mad that he stomped on her swimming goggles after she tore up the picture that Alex thought at the time was a picture she had drawn of our family. Alex agreed that this was one of those times when he shouldn't have gotten angry and asked her if there are times when she gets angry that she probably shouldn't. Their conversation ended with Katya actually agreeing - big shocker! - that she too gets mad sometimes when she shouldn't.
I am glad that I had talked to Alex before picking Katya up from her art class because otherwise I would have been very lost in the conversation that Katya was trying to have with me. It went something like this:
Katya: "Mommy, member when you scream at me when that boy came over and he take Tony toy?"
Me: "What boy?"
Katya: "You know, Emily brother".
Emily is my niece and her family recently came over for dinner this weekend so I am racking my brain trying to remember the incident she is referring to but I am seriously coming up with nothing! I am sure, however, that this questioning has something to do with the earlier conversation and that she has spent her entire art class thinking about all the times when Alex and I have gotten mad at her that she thinks weren't justified.
Me: "I'm not sure what you are talking about."
Katya: "That boy he about five years. And he take Tony toy and then you scream at me."
It is at this point that I think she may be talking about my nephew Jaden, from an entirely different family than Emily, or she could also be talking about my cousin Carter who came over many months ago and I did get mad at her for being mean to him. I decide to take the Carter incident and run with it.
Me: "Do you mean when my cousin Carter came over? I got mad at you that day because Carter is five and you are how old?"
Katya: "Eleven".
Me: "How much older than him are you?"
It is at this point that I am cringing as Katya starts counting on her fingers to figure how much older she is than Carter (really? - She can't just figure it out in her head?) and she finally comes up with six years.
Me: "That's right. In the first place, Carter was a guest in our house which means that you should be nice to him anyway."
Katya: "But he play with this and then he want to play with that!"
Me: "That's what five year olds do. They go from one thing to the next and because you are six years older than him, you deal with it and be nice!"
Then our conversation shifted to Kaylie. Katya and Kaylie's relationship baffles me. One minute Katya just loves her to death, they want to sleep in the same bed, they are happy as clams playing Barbies and the next minute - Bam! They are arch enemies! Katya was complaining about how Kaylie was going to be there when we got home.
Katya: "Kaylie no like me".
Me: "Honestly, I can't say if I blame her sometimes. I've seen how you treat Kaylie and I wouldn't really want to be nice to you either if you were being mean to me."
One night, Katya was mad about something and she wouldn't let Kaylie sleep in her room. I've seen her order Kaylie around, talk mean to her and get mad at Kaylie for stupid little things.
Me: "Remember when you wouldn't let Kaylie sleep in your room? I'm sure that made Kaylie feel sad. Imagine if you were at Kaylie's house and she was being mean and wouldn't let you sleep in her room."
Katya: "I don't sleep at Kaylie's house."
Me: "I said imagine. Think about if you were at Kaylie's house and she treated you that way. Would you feel like being nice to her? I think that if you were nice to Kaylie then Kaylie would be nice back to you. People are usually nice to you if you are nice to them. You should always treat people the way that you want to be treated".
Now we get to my point for writing this post. I have to burst out laughing because I totally deserved Katya's response. But sorry! First, I have to give you a little bit of background. Katya has a boy in her class that speaks Russian. I think his mother is Russian or speaks Russian or something. On the first day of school when Alex and I were waiting in the school yard, Alex turns to me and says, "I think that mother is speaking Russian". I told him I didn't see how that could be possible but believe it or not it is actually true! Anyway, this boy has taught all the other boys in the class how to call Katya "turtle" in Russian. Several weeks ago, I made the mistake of giving her advice on what to do about this. I told her that she should think of some word (not a swear word) that she could teach all the girls in the class how to say in Russian so that all the girls could call the boys this name. I know - I am definately going to win "mother of the year" for that piece of advice (I think from now on I am directing all the advice questions to Alex because he said that his advice would have been to just ignore the boy because the only reason the boy is doing it is to get a reaction out of Katya)!
Anyway, scroll back up and recall that I was lecturing Katya on treating others how you want to be treated.
Katya: "Member mom when you tell me to call that boy name back?"
Seriously, how do I respond to that?
