English menu but no English allowed

Monday, June 8

Helen (Elena?) pointed out a café that had an English menu that we decided to try out for dinner. We had to carry the baby up a flight of stairs to get to the nonsmoking area (you would think they would want the smoking area upstairs and the nonsmoking downstairs, since smoke rises?) and were presented with a menu that was indeed in English! After allowing us about two minutes to look over the menu, the waiter came to take our order and unlike in the US where they come and get your drink orders and then come back for your food orders, he wanted our entire order and he wanted it in Ukrainian. We started out by ordering apple juice that was going to cost us about $5 a glass (oh brother!) and the waiter kept asking us “Adin?” or “chitire?” (one or four) and, after getting frustrated with our indecisiveness (we were trying to ask him how big the glasses were since $5 a glass seemed pretty pricey!), pointed out another drink menu at the back that included water and soda. We wanted to order just plain bottled water but were afraid that we would end up with the “bubbly” kind so we settled for orange soda instead. (Mental note: Ask Helen (Elena?) how to order just plain bottled water). Then, after realizing that he wasn’t going to go away until we gave him our food order too, we scrambled - while he impatiently waited - to figure out what we wanted to eat. We settled for pasta and when he asked if we wanted “kleb”, I responded with a “Da” – since I actually knew what that was! Alex and I took a Russian class through the community education and learned the sounds of the Russian alphabet. I have also been practicing my Russian on Rosetta Stone so I know a few words. So far, these are the words that I got to practice at dinner:

Adin: One
Dva: Two
Chitire: Four
Kleb: Bread
Da: Yes
Niet: No
Spaciba: Thank You
Harasho: Good
Yablikay: Apple

Our pasta was actually very good and we told the waiter “harasho”. We learned that the word for check is “cheque” in Russian (or at least they know what that is) and we learned that the process for getting the check is not like in the US where they bring it to you after you look like you are done eating but instead wait for you to ask (even after you have conveyed to the waiter that you want a “box” – he knew what a “box” was – does he not bring you the check!). Overall, our first dining experience was pleasant, despite the fact that Dima (our waiter) was a bit abrupt and impatient with us ignorant Americans.